Expectation vs Reality
What do I mean by this first tanda in a milonga?
I’m talking about the first tangos that you dance when you arrive at the dance party.
Each one of us has their different «first tanda» experiences, it all depends on what time you arrive and when you hit the dance floor.
I personally like to wait several «tandas» before I start to connect with the dancers. First, I need to settle in, see the bigger picture and feel familiar and comfortable in the place.
I do not like to be carried away or rushed to the dance floor, although I have done it, but I prefer that my first beats are when I feel like it and not by obligation.
First , I need to feel comfortable with myself and then on the field («dance floor»).
A little bit of humor 😉
We continue with today’s topic «Expectation vs Reality» from the first «tanda».
So: What do we wish for? To arrive at the » milonga» with the expectation and enthusiasm to dance all night long and to have incredible «tandas». This is our wish. Sometimes we get to do it but sometimes we don’t.
You arrive, you sit at a super well-placed table, you look for the «cabeceo» right away and you get to dance with the milonguero you wanted to dance and it was fantastic. Your heart beats.
You arrive at the «milonga», you sit at an uncomfortable table because there is no room, you look for that «cabeceo» and it doesn’t happen until the middle of the «milonga». And on top of that it was not a good «tanda». Disappointment and to top it, all the people who were sitting with you at the table danced all night long.
❤1- Each Milonga is different. Don’t be disappointed if that day wasn’t what you expected. You will have many more opportunities.
❤2- I recommend you go to dance without anticipating what may happen. Let it be a surprise (perhaps that misplaced table can be special).
❤3- Maybe dancing a tanda with a stranger in the middle of the night can be great. And if it is not so great, do not worry there will always be more opportunities, each moment is unique. It just wasn’t a good evening … as in life 😉
First «tanda» to forget …
The first «ronda», (also called that) I feel is like a warm-up since my body has not yet fully activated, it would be a good idea if you can dance with someone you trust and / or with someone you know. To get into the mood with the embrace and your body.
Two things happen:
1- You will feel safer from the beginning.
2- If any candidate is looking at you, they will know that you came to the party, that you are already shining and maybe they are more enthusiastic about asking you to dance. It is like showing off, to say “here I am”. ha, sometimes they don’t take you out to «milonguear» because they don’t know you’re in the place.
Also the first moments in the milonga are to settle in and see who is there that day, as well as to see the different styles and embraces, with whom you would like to dance and with whom you would not. It is not to be picky but it is your life and you decide when you feel like dancing.
Remember that «The First tanda» is up to you. 😉
The «milonguero» can dance «not so good» but if you feel comfortable, it is worth it, not what others tell you.
If you have a partner, whether your dance or life partner, I can tell you that in the past the most common thing was that the couple danced together, or at least the first «tanda» together (I think it’s fine, to introduce themselves together to the party with confidence), and it is a very elegant and loving ritual. But today it is more relaxed.
A little bit of humor
Another example of “Expectation”:
You start dancing to the first song and there is an incredible connection with the unknown embrace, you even think it was the best «tanda» of your life.
Vs. Reality example
You go to dance the first «tanda» with a stranger, a little nervous and in the first step you both get confused and start to get stuck until the last tango. («no pegaron una», we say in Argentina). It’s then when you want to disappear from the «pista».
Tips and Tricks
⭐1- If you had a bad start, don’t worry because the night can improve and as I was telling you, the first tangos are to warm-up.
⭐2- Don’t go out with anyone if you’re not sure. Do not be afraid to say «No», it is better a sincere NO and wait for a good YES!, sincere too.
⭐3- Do not go out to dance out of obligation. Feel that you are vibrating and that you really want to.
⭐4- When there are mistakes in the dance, it is not your fault nor his, there was no connection or understanding that day. Sometimes we are distracted or you have your head in the clouds. ha
⭐5- Not all «milongueros» are compatible with everyone … sometimes there is no match.
⭐6- Experience is ALSO important as it helps to have more confidence, study and practice details that you feel you are missing.
⭐7- Finding a teacher that you feel comfortable with is a good option, a tango coach to guide you and help you in your process.
⭐8- Sincerity above all, is not magic but you feel the magic when you start to enjoy it.
⭐9- And also everything changes in the different «milongas» every day each «tanda» is ephemeral …
⭐10- Don’t be disappointed in the first «ronda» if it didn’t turn out as you expected, there is more tango ahead of you. You will have a better «tanda».
Many times I had high expectations, anticipating what was going to happen and if that did not happen, my face would change and it was difficult to make the night better, returning to my house disappointed.
But with time I changed that mentality and I began to think that the «MILONGA» would «surprise» me and I am currently experiencing unique and unexpected moments.
I invite you to enjoy getting ready, make yourself beautiful, feel comfortable, elegant and leave the expectations before crossing the door of the milonga, because you do not know what is going to happen.
But yes! I suggest you arrive with excitement and eager to share beautiful, unique and unrepeatable moments.
Let’s toast for more good realities and lots of embraces that surprise us.
«It is never what you do which entangles you. It is the expectation of what you should get which entangles you» Sadhguru
Do you have any anecdotes about your first “tanda”? We would love to read you to learn about your experience and inspire and help more women. Thank you